It’s been a journey full of cardboard boxes and moving trucks. And I’m exhausted.
Now, I’m not talking moving a few neighborhoods over kind of “move”. I’m talking about picking up, selling my condo and moving across the country from Baltimore to Phoenix kinds of moves; being in a new place where you don’t have a network, you don’t know where the grocery stores are, and have to start from scratch. People who have only ever lived in one state may not truly understand the exhausting emotional toll that moving like that takes. And what was worse for me was that I didn’t have a job to go to to provide structure or any kind of network. I spent a lot of time alone and if I’m being honest, didn’t do very well for a while.
Moving makes you get out of your comfort zone, forces you into a brand new place around brand new people and makes you open yourself up to new possibilities. As an introvert, for me that can be tough merely because I don’t mind my alone time. Which can be dangerous. There were days on end in Michigan where I’m not sure I left the condo, and our dog isn’t the best conversationalist. It’s only been in the past few years that i’ve really thrown caution to the wind and had the mindset to just get out there and try. Because that’s really all you can do.
The biggest thing that I’ve learned from moving so much throughout my entire life (with my family first), was that at the end of the day your family is the constant. Moving to a place like Baltimore when I was young was tough because it’s so cliquey and most people there have lived there for generations. Similar to Minnesota! So breaking into people’s social lives when they already have tons of friends and their entire family right there, well, not many people are willing to make the time for a new person. And trying to do that in Minnesota as an adult? Oh man.
Again, our situation is unique in that during most of our moves I didn’t have a traditional job, and now Jon is in that same boat; moving to Nashville without a network, or a job to kickoff any introductions. So as a couple it can be easy to depend on the other person to provide eeeeeeverything. Which can cause issues and not be fair to the other. I found myself craving professional and social needs but because all of my efforts were coming up short, I looked to my husband to fulfill that. Now, while there is a certain level of support that you should get from your spouse, I found myself taking a step back to avoid blaming him or asking him to check all of those boxes.
But to take a step back from the scary things, moving can also be really exciting! You do it enough times and you get excited to check out and discover a new place, to put your touches on your new home to make it feel like home, or to meet new people! I know that I am more excited about this move to Nashville than probably any other move that we’ve ever made. I think that location, the area, our home, the possibilities for Manor Designs, and the timing is key. By that I mean that we are doing this to hopefully make this a long-term home. And while we never know what the future will bring, we know that we are able to and going to put a good effort forward to making this place feel like home so we will want to stay.
I’ve never been able to do that as an adult. Even when I moved back to Baltimore to start working after college I knew that wasn’t going to be where I stayed for any long period of time. And obviously with Jon and having to move for in and out of season schedules, that was never an option. But even staying in the same place from Jan 1 to Dec 31? That is a very exciting notion to me. Decorating for the holidays? Finally put our little touches to make it feel like home? That’s the chapter that I’ve been waiting for and am very excited to jump into it.
So cheers to being uncomfortable, to tying new things, to going on adult friend dates, to finding cool new neighborhoods, and figuring out this next chapter!