Another year, another birthday.
Last year I had all of these super deep thoughts and messages since I was turning 30. This year, I’m still incredibly thoughtful about getting older and my past 12 months, but it doesn’t feel as big as last year.
Something that this past year has affirmed for me is that everyone’s timeline is different and for different reasons. My life hasn’t exactly been conventional so my timeline hasn’t been either. To be honest there have been people who have done things at a certain age that I wouldn’t do, but that’s their timeline and there is no reason for me to place judgement on it. But I can’t tell you how many times people have asked passive questions or made subtle comments about my timeline. Yes, I’m a 31-year-old without kids, but the only people that concerns is me and my husband, but for some reason people sometimes think it concerns them too.
I think we have all had those chapters in life that we feel didn’t go “as planned” or how we had hoped. I know I’ve had an interesting 4-5 years when it comes to career and have been super frustrated about it, and do I wish that I had more resolution about it? 1,000%! But there are certain aspects about my life that I can’t control, so instead I’ve been trying to learn how to focus on those things that I can control: my mindset about it, and the things that I can do to move forward. And trust me, as someone fairly Type A, this is a struggle.
But one thing that I have loved about growing older is the ability to shed the stress of caring what other people think. As time goes on, I am able to realize what’s truly important to me, my family, and what makes me happy. I am able to realize that what other people think about what I should be doing or what they want me to do, really has no affect on me and my life. Those people that feel comfortable making judgments about other people’s lives are never going to change. They are going to pass judgement no matter how I behave, so why should I act to appease them? How is that going to make me happy in the long-run?
Spoiler alert… it’s not!
This isn’t an excuse to do whatever I want and avoid responsibility, it’s a reason for moving forward with the things that make you happy and not letting those other things effect my happiness. So much of today’s society is about “should’s”: you should start a family after you get married, you should have a 9-5 job, you should behave a certain way, you should post ____ pictures on social media, you should look a certain way, etc. But I am not going to look up when I turn 40 and think to myself, “I’m so happy I followed other people’s rules for my life”. My rules are different from your rules, and both of us are figuring them out as time goes on. But the work comes from figuring them out for yourself.